'I’m hesitant because of my dad’s past history with debt': 21-year-old Daughter stuck in an uncomfortable situation after bankrupt father and 22-year-old brother ask her to co-sign their $200k mortgage, mother suggests she sign

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Aug 6, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

We'll do just about anything for family…besides perhaps signing ourselves up for a life-long era of sitting in a black hole of never-ending debt. 

Yeah, just maybe not that. However, when our family needs us, saying 'no' can be a challenge we are not quite cut out for…which is understandable. It's difficult to set boundaries with the people we love, but sometimes when what they're asking of us is unrealistic, was have no other choice. 

Take this family, for instance: A father who just filed for bankruptcy, a brother whose 3 months fresh at a new job, a mother who can't pay her cellphone bills, and you. The 21-year-old daughter whose family's just requested that you sign a 200k mortgage in your name… Um, sweetheart, this would be the time to implement that so-called 'boundary' we were discussing earlier. 

We know that a daughter like this would do anything to help her family, but sometimes putting others' oxygen masks on before your own will only lead to a mess too big to clean up…

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  • After feeling surrounded by pressure from her family members, this 21-year-old daughter is left feeling helpless. She understands that signing a piece of paper is not a big deal, but it's what that paper means that is completely throwing her off balance. Co-signing for a house mortgage may not influence her life immediately, but if anything goes south, and her father and brother are unable to pay…all the liabilities fall on her lap, with no apologies…

  • 01
    'I learnt that if my brother fails to pay it off on time, I am financially responsible for it"
    via Mikhail Nilov

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    AITAH for not cosigning a mortgage agreement for my parents?

    I (21f) have been asked by my parents to cosign a home mortgage worth 200k with my brother (22m). For context, my
    via OkChampionship4457
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    dad and brother lives 3 hours away from my mom and my other siblings because of work. I live in another province for military posting reasons.
    via OkChampionship4457
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    My dad and brother are currently paying rent, and they're looking to buy a house. However, my dad has filed for bankruptcy and my
    via OkChampionship4457
  • 05
    brother has only been working for 3 months at his new job so he might not get approved. That's why they need me to co-sign for
    via OkChampionship4457
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    my name and ID. They told me I won't be paying anything because I wont need to put my banking information. That my
    via OkChampionship4457
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    brother and dad will pay it and i just have to act as a cosigner. This is my first time doing something like this, especially
    via OkChampionship4457
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    taking in a big commitment such as a home that I won't even be living in. So naturally I started researching about it. I learnt that
    via OkChampionship4457
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    if my brother fails to pay it off on time and what not, I am financially responsible for it. I asked my mom questions of what it would mean for me to co-sign.
    via OkChampionship4457
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    I'm pretty hesitant because of my dad's past history of being in debt. She did not take it well. She said why am i thinking negatively of
    via OkChampionship4457
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    things, if i really loved my Dad i wouldn't even think in this way and just say yes. I told her it's because i want to think of things realistically and don't want to be
    via OkChampionship4457
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    in debt in case my brother can't pay things off. She said that my distrust in my dad is unfair. And that this is the only help i'll be giving towards
    via OkChampionship4457
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    my family and I can't even do it. (mind you, im paying for my mom and siblings' house insurance, my mom's phone bill, and other miscellaneous things
    via OkChampionship4457
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    and other miscellaneous things that they need money for). Now she said she doesn't want me to do it at all because of how i reacted. AITA?
    via OkChampionship4457
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    == CONTRACT
    via wutzkoh

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 16
    Annie041974 Do not co-sign this loan. You would regret it for the rest of your life. NEVER get involved with family and money.
    via Annie041974
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    Traditional Koala216 NTA. Do not cosign a $200,000 home. Your father has a history of not paying off debts and your brother has only been working 3 months. Also, if your mom is gonna try to manipulate you, I'd stop paying for her stuff as well. They all sound money hungry.
    via Traditional_Koala216
  • 18
    UserNamelnGeorgia No parent who genuinely cares about their children would EVER ask such a thing. There is absolutely no good that can come from this scenario. You would be handicapped for 30 years. Say no and don't leave room for them to respond.
    via UserNamelnGeorgia
  • 19
    RobB_4 Your father can't even pay your mother's bills. Your sibling can't pay their own insurance. Suggest that they take on their minor bills before a mortgage.. The two of them suggesting that they are in a position to cover a mortgage isn't very credible.
    via RobB_4
  • 20
    FunProfessional570 NTA, never, ever, under any circumstances co- sign a loan unless you're married to that person and are buying a home together.
    via FunProfessional570
  • 21
    This is massively wrong of your family. You would be on the hook for $200K. Calculate how long that will take you to pay on your salary. What happens when you leave the service and want to buy a house? Or get married and you both want a home? You won't be eligible for another home loan unless you're a freaking millionaire.
    via FunProfessional570
  • 22
    adventuresofcoal NTA. You are absolutely correct that you'll be responsible for the debt if it's not paid. It will also ruin your credit if it's not paid or the payments are late. Just guessing, but maybe your dad hasn't made the best financial decisions in the past. Anyway, I would advise against co-signing a loan, especially one that big.
    via adventuresofcoal
  • 23
    Fire_or_water_kai If you're already paying all these other bills for them, what makes you think they'll pay for the house that is WAY more money than anything else?!
    via Fire_or_water_kai

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failblog responsibility buying expectations sign liable owner brother mother unrealistic outcomes new job debt mortgage loan bankruptcy family co-sign property trust home guilty Father
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